Obituary of Phyllis May Empey

It is with great sadness we announce the passing of Phyllis May Empey at Strathroy Middlesex General Hospital on April 6th, 2020 at the age of 68. Phyllis loved and was dearly loved, by her sister-in-law Jean McAllister Empey. After her move to Strathroy, Phyllis enjoyed many years of monthly weekend visits with her brother Gord, wife Jean and his children and grandchildren. Phyllis was the youngest of 5 sisters and 5 brothers and will be greatly missed by her nieces and nephews. Phyllis was also the very loved family member of Brenda and Tim Leyten, Christopher and Jeremy Siddall, Stacey, Codey and Mavryck Belle, Connie Brown, Brian and Kathy, Caden and Hannah Brown, Brad Brown, Justin Ayers, Kaila, Cassie and Aria Kirkwood, the Mike McMullen family, the Karl Cable family, the Leyten family and predeceased by Sandra Kirkwood. We will forever remember that we are better people because Phyllis joined our families. She taught us that to love is a choice always worth making. Phyllis leaves behind so many friends and caregivers that will miss her beautiful heart, adventurous nature and her infectious laugh. Today what I really want is to celebrate and share what a vibrant spirit she had. I want people to know and celebrate that she was a person who loved people so whole heartedly that the natural result was that the love she gave to others was often reciprocated. Many of my friends and extended family members provided respite support for Phyllis and her circle of close relationships grew quite large over 25 years. The only part I played in her building those close relationships was surrounding her with so many truly incredible people. Phyllis contributed immensely to the person I became. Her influence on my life and the lives of my children was profoundly, beautiful. She loved me and I loved her. Phyllis assumed many roles in our family but her interaction with the kids was really something incredible to watch. It didn’t take long for us to realize that Phyllis came with quite a colourful vocabulary. She didn’t articulate the words exactly but when she used them in context you knew exactly what she was saying. The kids loved this and capitalized on it. Phyllis became the coveted teammate to their play. For them to be able to swing Phyllis over to their side and have her join them in swearing, or her calling their brother or sister names, was the ultimate coo. When she heard the swear word she would always respond with a gasp while covering her mouth with her hand, feigning shock, followed by either her laughter, with a bit of finger pointing for good measure, or sometimes it would backfire because she would jump to the defence of the intended victim. I never knew what I would walk into when I would hear commotion in the other room. Sometimes I would walk in and Phyllis would have one hand on her hip and the other hand shaking her finger at the kids, with a smirk on her face. She appeared to enjoy being the boss that ran a tight ship. Other times I would walk into what appeared to be a WWF wrestling match in my living room with Jeremy versus Phyllis or Phyllis vs Chris. Stacey would be on team Phyllis and Phyllis would protect her fiercely. She would have a hold of one of the boy’s arms and they would be doing acrobatic flips as she delivered “the smackdown”. She was undefeated. Each match was always followed by a victory celebration where she would raise her hands in the air while she was declared the winner. ...Fast forward 23 years to 2018 on a trip to Mexico with the family. After dinner at one of the à la carte restaurants, Phyllis spontaneously puts Jeremy in a headlock. I scrambled to grab my phone to videotape because I knew the “smack down” was coming and I wanted footage. By the time the camera loaded, the headlock was over but I did get Phyllis’s victory cheer after Jeremy tapped out. ...In that moment I am transported back in time to kids bouncing on couches in the living room on Brennan Drive. It was pure comedy ...it was beautiful ...it was love and it revolved around Phyllis... she made it work and for the kids, her humour made it a crapshoot of where her loyalties would land that day...and yes I am aware my kids were brats. Lol Phyllis usually renamed people. When I met her there was already another Brenda whom she called “Benny”, so she named me “Doadie”. Over the years Phyllis herself had acquired many aliases. “Phylly Boe Billy” or “My Lady!” were Jeremy’s. Then Karl in 2005 met Phyllis and took it to a whole new level and the list grew exponentially. PhilBoeBagans” after The Hobbit movie came out, “Phillydendrum” “Philly-buster” “Phyllharmonic” to name a few. In her younger years Phyllis was so bold. She was fun to do things with because she rarely said no to any activities and had the best laugh when she was enjoying herself. Phyllis loved to dance, and swim, she loved musical shows and live theatre. She loved painting and colouring. She loved “girlie” things like shopping for clothes, hairdos, makeup and manicures. She didn’t like drinking beer but was a big fan of a Smirnoff Ice. Phyllis loved animals. Maybe sometimes she loved them a little too much. Lol I remember her bouncing her numerous cats on her knee over the years like one would bounce a toddler. My brothers, sister and our collective families, celebrated every holiday together with my mom. Phyllis loved the big holiday get togethers and really loved my mom Connie. Weather permitting, birthday parties for Phyllis were large outside celebrations that the entire family attended. Parties and socializing were probably one of her favourite things. Parties usually had great food and Phyllis enjoyed food, she especially loved the desserts. There was so much fun and laughter in our home and Phyllis always appeared happiest in the middle of conversations. Even though her speech was limited she always managed to engage socially, she listened intently and had the best laugh always placed at just the right time. Most weekends our lives were filled with social gatherings of family and friends which Phyllis cherished. Barbecuing by the pool on Brennan Drive or on Churchill Line the pastimes were billiards, karaoke, laughter or time spent around the patio table on the porch which she enjoyed very much. Phyllis loved to travel. During her life she travelled often. She visited dozens of national and international destinations. I don’t believe a person could find a better gal to take a road trip with. On several trips Phyllis, her friend Helen, Sharon and I, would load up the car and just drive South. Everyone who knew Phyllis also knew her babies. It has never been a secret that Phyllis loved real babies. Years ago, one Christmas, I bought her this giggling, crying, cooing, soft bodied, baby doll. I knew it wasn’t an “age appropriate” gift, but I also knew she would absolutely love it. After that year, my daughter Stacey highjacked the babydoll gift idea and would have a new Christmas baby purchased for Phyllis, way before anyone else was even thinking of Christmas shopping. Over the years her collection became very big, but she refused to part with any of them no matter how “ratty looking” they had become. Phyllis and I shared a life. We supported each other. We faced good times and times of immense loss and grief. When I struggled, she was always present and provided the quiet comfort of her company and a hug anytime I needed one. Her departure from our lives now has left a gaping hole that we will never fill. Through her illness, I was humbled when I realized that Phyllis had her own path to walk now, independent of mine this time. It was truly heartbreaking to witness but I knew with certainty that her journey home she was not alone, she walked with Jesus. “Grief is the price we pay for love.” Queen Elizabeth II We wish to extend our utmost admiration and appreciation to the medical staff of Strathroy General Hospital who worked tirelessly to care for Phyllis during her illness. Many thanks to the staff of Ingersoll Support Services who supported Phyllis over the years with such kindness but specifically to Max Wiltsie and Don Justrabo, for stepping outside the box to support Phyllis’s incredible journey of living a good life. To the many incredible staff over the years at the VON Adult Day Program. Thank you. You encouraged her love of art, offered so many recreational opportunities along with an interactive setting that allowed Phyllis to form many close personal relationships that contributed to her love for life. “God Speed My Lady” -Doadie Cremation has taken place and a graveside service followed by a celebration of Phyllis' life will be held at a later date. As an expression of sympathy, donations to Ingersoll Support Services would be appreciated by the family. Arrangements entrusted to DENNING’S OF STRATHROY, (519)245-1023. Online condolences and donations can be made at www.strathroyfuneralhome.com.